If you know an Enneagram 4, then you know we tend to live into yearning, longing, seeking, open to the pain of the world and humanity.
As a Death Doula and someone who tends to the soul and spirit of other humans in my trauma resolution work and spiritual direction work, I’m very comfortable with big feelings, even the deep dark ones.
As an intuitive, I stay very close to my own senses.
Feeling into a space, a commitment, a relationship- so I can hear what needs to be shared. For me, this way of being requires a certain pace and rhythm that creates the container so I can hear what’s for me and what’s not for me.
And b/c I’m alive and human, and engaged in relationships with all sorts of living beings in this world and the more- than human world- this is always changing- what I can consume, what I can digest, what I can process and how I can integrate it into my actions, presence, ways of being.
Silence helps, quiet wisdom from the trees, messages from the moons, usually are also part of the deep listening process. Then I use divination tools to work with what arises like journaling, Tarot, meditation, etc
This past weekend, I picked up an old book from the depths of my Buddhist study days to find this reminder “ a way of life- a lifelong path of awakening, attention, surrender, and commitment.” Ah- yes, that’s definitely what I’m on. This way of life.
I thought about this phase I am in, that so many of us are in-
of transition, of new beginnings right alongside surrenders.
I also realized in the midst of the yearning and awareness and truth telling of the painful parts- I have yet to reveal the blessings of this change.
I have yet to share how I have felt LOVE EXPAND in all directions thru these changes.
Do you know what it feels like to be the most authentic, honest, alive, engaged version of yourself? Do you know what it feels like to dissolve all layers of defense, of past versions, of secrets, of unknowns and breathe into who you are, truly, deeply, fully committed to her? There will, of course, be consequences. There will be ways in which “ societal norms” don’t meet your alignment, your being-ness, and finally, finally, finally, you surrender to it. It’s okay. Exhale, exhale, exhale-
THERE I {REALLY } am.
This path won’t be for everyone, I know.
But it will be for me.
I will always, always listen to the whispers of the heart, my embodied knowing.
She is the divine voice for me, she always guides and leads me. I honor her, I trust her.
“ To open deeply, as genuine spiritual life requires, we need tremendous courage and strength, a kind of warrior spirit. But the place for this warrior strength is in the heart. We need energy commitment, and courage not to run from our life nor to cover it. We need a warrior’s heart that lets us face our lives directly, our pains and limitations, our joys and possibilities. This courage allows us to include every aspect of life in our spiritual practice: our bodies our families, our society, politics the earths’ ecology, art, education. Only then, can spirituality be truly integrated into our lives.”
—Jack Kornfield “ A Path With Heart”
These days are full of so much to share but since it is real life and not fiction, since there are real humans involved - I want to share this in a more intimate way.
The next phases of this substack will be behind paywall and I will be writing and sharing about the past 18 months which has given me.. so many layers to write about.
How my intuition and knowings led to these huge changes. What steps led from one thing to another.. it’s really a WOMANAFESTO. I want to share these stories with you b/c I know how important they can be to finding our own way. I read and listened to stories of other women finding similar courage to eventually, find my own liberatory freedom!!!
So with that, I invite you in. I’ll write from my heart and experiences that are as true and honest as I have been AND if you want to share yourself with us, in this small intimate container, you can as well.
It is $18 a month.
18 is the spiritual number FOR LIFE.
We are currently connected by lifeforce and at some point- it will be over.
I will stop writing. I will stop breathing. And this version of our life together will end.
And we will be “ alive “ in other ways- in words, in memories, in stories, in dirt, in trees, in our loved ones.
But for now, we LIVE together.
I celebrate this moment in time that is CALLING US IN TO BE SPIRITUAL WARRIORS. WE ARE SO NEEDED.
JOIN ME.
With Love,
Kohenet Pleasance
